The Trouble With Townies

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The Trouble With Townies

Well, how many times have you been out, and found that a bunch of tracksuit-wearing ponces who can’t speak or write or type anything remotely similar to English exist in your local town? Well, this section isn’t so much dedicated to... as taking the piss out of them.

The picture on this page is of a bunch of townies on a bench. See, since I didn’t get proper permission to publicise their images and they’re minors, we had to censor the image, but you get the picture. These were jeans-wearing townies. They claim to be non-townified because they don’t wear tracksuits. Well, townification is a personality-disorder, not a dress code. Right, we can’t publish the names of the townies either, but I can note that they are a special brand of retardedness...

It’s actually rather funny, because they not only look the same as each other... they look like they can’t afford real clothes. They tuck their trousers into their socks (no Jonny, this has bugger all to do with bikes, so don’t try to defend your townie-like friends/habits) and they wear dumb Burberry caps way too high up on their huge shaven heads... bunch of queers.




See, they obviously don’t know how comical they look... at least “alternative” people know they look like freaks... now your townie, he doesn’t... he also thinks it “the norm” to chat up 1 year old girls at the age of 17. This is why if you ever hear a female townie talk to another, it’ll sound something like

Shazza Our Shanice’s birthday’s fuckin’ soon...

Mercedes Aaaahh fuckin’ hell! When?

Shazza Her 1th birthday...

Quite amusing, no?

There we have it. I can’t be arsed writing more, but I’m sure there’ll be plenty more townie stuff to come...

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