Monday, October 22, 2012

Father and Son Relationships

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The relationship between a father and his son is one of the most important things in life. In the novel The Chosen by Chaim Potok, the importance of father-son relationships can be seen through the interaction between Reb Saunders and his son Danny and the interaction between Mr. Malter and his son Reuven. Although Reb Saunders and Mr. Malter have very different types of relationships between their sons, both fathers care for their sons in their own way and try to teach their sons important life skills.

In The Chosen, Mr. Malter shows a great amount of care for his son Reuven in a soft type of loving way. When Reuven was in the hospital, Mr. Malter often would come to visit him to see if he was all right. Also, he was always kind and understanding towards Reuven, even if Reuven did something he didnt approve of. (Potok writes), [Mr. Malter] looked at me and I saw his eyes were suddenly sad. I did not intend to scold you, he said (Potok pg.64).

Danny’s father also uses verbal communication to teach his son a very important life lesson. When Reuven is not sure whether he should become friends with Danny because he is Hasidic, Mr. Malter helps him choose the right path. He says, The Talmud says that a person should do two things for himself. One is to acquire a teacher. Do you remember the other?…You know what a friend is, Reuven? A Greek philosopher said that two people who are true friend are like two bodies with one soul…Reuven, if you can, make Danny Saunders your friend (Potok 74).

Mr. Malter also tells Reuven an important skill to help him in his life with dealing with other people. In one instance he speaks to Reuven and says, What I tried to tell you, Reuven, is that when a person comes to talk to you, you should be patient and listen. Especially if he has hurt you in any way (Potok 64).

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Unlike Mr. Malter who shows his to love to his son by being gentile with Reuven, Reb Saunders shows his love to his son Danny by being tough on him. Danny’s father was very strict on making sure his son knew the Talmud inside and out. For example, every Shabbat his father preaches a sermon on the Talmud and purposely makes mistakes in his sermon to quiz his son Danny by asking him to point out what the mistakes are. One time when his son was studying with his friend Reuven, his son didn’t hear any mistakes and his father then turned to his son and said, “…Of course you didn’t hear. How could you hear when you were not listening?” (Potok pg.18).

Where as Mr. Malter uses verbal communication to teach his son, Reb Saunders raises his son Danny in silence except when he is teaching his son the Talmud. He feels that silence teaches Danny more than could be taught by speaking. Even when Reb Saunders and his son Danny go on a trip to Lakewood, they spend an excruciating amount of time together on a bus in complete silence. At one point in the novel, Danny tells his friends Reuven in regard of his father that, He told me once he wishes everyone could talk in silence. (Potok pg.76).

One similarity in the relationship between Mr. Malter and his son Reuven and Reb Saunders and his son Danny is that both fathers look out for their sons. When Reuven came home late one night after being at the Saunders, Mr. Malter was very concerned about him and said, Next time you are out so late you will call, yes? I was ready to telephone Reb Saunders to find out what happened (Potok pg.1).

Reb Saunders also looks out for his son by making sure that all of his son’s friends meet his father’s approval. When Danny told his father about his friendship with Reuven, Reb Saunders tells his son to bring him over for Shabbat. When Reuven asks why does Reb Saunders want to meet with him, Danny says, “…I told him we were friends. He always has to approve of all my friends. Especially if they are outside of the fold.” (Potok pg.115).

The relationships between Reuven’s father Mr. Malter and Danny’s father Reb Saunders is very unique. Each of them has different ways of bringing up their sons and therefore have different relationships with them. Both relationships are similar in that both fathers care for their sons but are different in the way they bring their sons up.

Potok, Chaim. The Chosen. Ballantine Books. New York City, New York. 167.

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